I'm not dead.

The holidays were rough this year, a lot harder than I thought they'd be and I pretty much crawled under a rock except when my friends dragged me out. I missed my husband, I missed my family, the weather was crappy and I really just wanted the whole thing to be over. Unfortunately, I have children so that wasn't an option and I had to pretend that it was the most wonderful time of the year.

We did have some great times like when we took the train to Rothenburg's Christmas market on a snowy wintery day. We also made a trip to Ramstein to shop at the big PX and eat at Chili's! We all got sick from eating greasy American food but it was worth it. We also had Christmas dinner with our wonderful friends here in Germany and we spent New Year's Eve with even more friends. We are truly blessed to have met such great people and I know the holidays would have been 10 times harder without them.

I'm happy that 2012 is finally here though, everyday is a day closer to seeing my husband and the kids seeing their dad, they miss him terribly. But 2012 also means that I get to refocus myself and start working toward real goals with my running and my fitness in general. So, I'm going to share my 12 goals for 2012:

1. Cross train. I've already started doing Spin class twice a week, it's such a different workout than running and other than my butt being ridiculously sore, I love it. I am also weight training at the gym and doing a step aerobics class on Fridays.

2. Run at least one half marathon. There is a half marathon in Würzburg on May 20 and I would really like to run it but I don't know yet if it will work with my schedule. There is also one in June in Stuttgart that might work and then there is always Berlin in September, I would love to do all of these but I'll be happy with just one.

3. Lose 25 pounds. I'm 25 pounds from being in the normal range for BMI and I'm sick of being considered obese.

4. Run more with my husband (obviously after he gets back). I love running with my husband and also hate it. I'm super competitive and he pushes me and I think he is the key to improving my running.

5. Spend more time outdoors. It has been rainy and cold and wet here for months now, we missed this part of winter last year so I don't think I fully appreciated Spring and Summer in Germany. This year I will make the most of the sunlight and warmth.

6. Travel more. I haven't traveled as much as I would like because Luis has been gone but once he gets back we have to make up for lost time, we have so much to see and only 2 years left to do it.

7. Keep working on my German. I had stopped with my German lessons but I'm starting back next week. I know enough to get by but I want to learn more conversational German.

8. NOT cut my hair. I know for most people this doesn't have to be a goal but I've been wanting to grow my hair out for years and I always end up chopping it off. I will not chop my hair off this year and by next year I will be able to do all kind of cool hairdo's that I wanted to do last year but couldn't.

9. Be more affectionate. I'm not an affectionate person at all, I have to remind myself to hug my children. That's sounds horrible, I'm not big on people touching me but I'm working on it. I'm hoping that if I keep working on it then it can become a habit and maybe one day it will become second nature instead of a conscious decision.

10. Cook more. A lot of my lack of cooking has been due to Luis' absence, the kids and I just don't eat enough to make a big meal, especially since they usually complain about some aspect of it and won't eat it. My first week of cooking has already gone well, I'm making healthier food and we can always use that.

11. Read more. I enjoy reading but it always comes in spurts. I'll read everyday for a month or two and then nothing for a month or two. I want to be more consistent and give myself reading time everyday.

12. Spend less time on Facebook. I know I have sucked at blogging since I moved but it's not because I'm never online, I'm always online in some way, be it on my computer at home or on my phone that is always with me. I'm just always on Facebook, it's a great way to stay connected with my friends and family in the states but I waste a lot of time on Facebook and I'm going to try to reduce the hours spent staring at status updates this year.